Boost Your Desire with Self-Love: The Route to a More Sensual Life

Loving yourself is not always seen as a positive character trait. But self-love is important—it means accepting ourselves as we are and not constantly being plagued by self-doubt. And most importantly for us at pjur: loving yourself more can also improve your sex life. Because if you love yourself, you have more self-confidence, and feel more comfortable in your body, and other people can see that too. Read on to find out more about what self-love means, and how boosting your self-love can also lead to an increase in desire and a more sensual sex life.

• What is self-love?
• The importance of loving yourself
• Learn how to practice self-love—with these exercises
  • Use positive affirmations to boost self-loveBe your own best friend
• • Don’t compare yourself to others too much
• • Acknowledge your mistakes and talk about them
• • Learn to admire your body
• • Date yourself
• • Concentrate on your strengths
• • Learn to love your body and boost your desire for sex

What is self-love?

According to experts, the definition of self-love is recognizing your personal values, appreciating your personality, and being content with yourself. Unfortunately, a healthy dose of self-love is still all too often equated with egotism or excessive vanity. Yet it is important for us all to love ourselves and accept ourselves as we are. This is a struggle, particularly for a lot of women who do not look after themselves. They live with constant self-doubt and compare themselves to others all too often. Many men also find it difficult to love themselves. Self-doubt is a common problem for everyone—it’s certainly not just a women’s issue.

Psychologists believe the cause is generally traced back to childhood, because not everyone has problems practicing self-love. It is believed that the behavior of the parents in a child’s first six years is a factor in whether a person can accept themselves as they are or not. If our parents teach us that we are perfect just as we are, we generally take that with us into adulthood.

But the good news is that you can still learn to accept yourself as you are when you’re an adult—and it’s something you should absolutely try! There are a lot of benefits to accepting yourself with all your weaknesses and strengths and taking care of yourself.

The importance of loving yourself

If you love yourself, you don’t need approval from others. You know no one is perfect, so you don’t expect that from yourself either. Instead, you accept yourself as you are. You develop a strong character, you are better at making decisions, and journey through life successfully and comfortably. If you don’t love yourself, you will generally be more unsure and doubt not just yourself, but also many of the decisions you make in life. If you feel comfortable in your body, you can also unwind more fully during sex and concentrate completely on yourself and your partner. That’s why experts say that practicing self-love can lead to a better sex life. Relationships with your partner and friendships are also negatively impacted by a lack of self-love. People who love themselves find it easier to be in a loving relationship and maintain friendships. Frequent arguments, jealousy, or problems saying “I love you” can all be signs that you don’t love yourself. As a result, loving yourself can also have a huge impact on you and your life.

Learn how to practice self-love—with these exercises

If you struggle to accept yourself as you are, you can learn self-love. Try the following exercises to learn to love both yourself and your body as an adult:

Use positive affirmations to boost self-love

Encouraging, positive sentences, also known as mantras or affirmations, can make a big difference. If you tell yourself you are good enough every morning, at some point you will accept the positive feeling behind the mantra. Our brain reacts to expectations; if you promise it something positive, it will want to achieve it. Positive affirmations can also activate the reward center, which can also help build a more positive self-image.

Be your own best friend

We might appreciate other people’s quirks, but we are significantly more critical of ourselves. Next time you are hard on yourself, think about what you would say to a friend in that situation. Remember: no one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. Perhaps that will help you handle self-criticism better and appreciate yourself more.

Don’t compare yourself too much with others

In the digital world we often compare ourselves with people who are only showing the best version of themselves. Try to avoid getting caught in that trap. Instead, compare yourself with an earlier version of yourself and concentrate on what you have already achieved in your life and where you are today. Always remember your strengths and how much you’ve grown.

Acknowledge your mistakes and talk about them

Who likes talking about their own mistakes? No one! And yet we all make them throughout our life. Talk openly about your mistakes and you will notice that other people also openly admit theirs. And the real magic here is that it will make other people feel better about themselves just as much as it helps you. Because knowing that other people also make mistakes or have doubts reassures you that you are fine as you are and doing your best.

Learn to admire your body

Thinking you are beautiful is one of the first steps to practicing more self-love. The body positivity movement has been promoting the idea for a few years now. Every body is a good body. So, let’s throw out ideals of beauty that hardly anyone lives up to, and show more self-love to our own bodies. This is quite easy, if you focus on the things you like about yourself.

Date yourself

Spend quality time with yourself and do what makes you feel good. Whether that’s a long walk, a hot bath with a good book, or a spine-tingling moment or two alone, you should do something good for yourself as often as you do for your friend/partner. The first step to practicing self-love is self-care.

Concentrate on your strengths

Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. If you concentrate on your strengths and don’t pay as much attention to your weaknesses, you will be happier and just radiate joy. After all, weaknesses aren’t always a bad thing. We often like people because of their weaknesses, which is something we all need to remember more often.

Learn to love your body and boost your desire for sex

You’re in synch with yourself and have a strong character—naturally, this will have an impact on your relationship and your sex life. As we’ve said before, self-doubt often brings conflict into relationships. However, if you are at peace with yourself, you are balanced, happy, and take this into your relationship. And a better relationship also means a better sex life. People who feel good in their own body and accept their quirks are more likely to have mindful, intense sex. And if you are completely in the moment during sex and experience it sensually, you are definitely going to want to have sex more often. You can easily let yourself go when you love yourself, and then concentrate on yourself and your partner. If you love yourself, you express your sexual needs more and have better sex. This automatically increases desire for sex, and improves your sex life in the long run!

Greater self-acceptance and fewer comparisons lead to a boost in self-love and a better sex life. And, importantly for us: it can enhance desire and lead to a better sex life. So, try to practice self-love a bit more, and improve both your relationship and your sex life.

Image sources: pexels-olly-774866, pexels-rdne-7240302