Dirty Talk and Sexting—How Words Can Get Things Going

Often words are all it takes to spice things up and put us in the mood. Of course, today these words can be spoken, or in messages on our phones, so there are even more opportunities to say and write filthy things, and fan the flames of each other’s desire. You’ll keep hearing us refer to “dirty talk” and “sexting—” let’s talk about what they mean now!

• What is dirty talk?
• Dirty talk—how it works
• What is sexting?
• Sexting—how it works
• Be careful with dirty talk and sexting: things to bear in mind!

What is dirty talk?

Dirty talk involves saying filthy things with the aim of turning someone on. If this makes you think of porn, and the frequently vulgar chat seen on that, then you’re on the wrong track. Dirty talk can be subtle, yet still boost desire. And it’s not just for sex—you can talk dirty throughout the day. You bump into each other in the kitchen while making a coffee, or find yourself preparing dinner together. Why not use these opportunities to hint about your sexual fantasies or even give little sexy compliments? Both can develop desire for what might happen that evening in the bedroom. And science supports it: there is a connection between sexual communication and physical stimulation. Researchers believe there are erogenous zones in the brain which react to sexual conversation and influence our pleasurable sensations. So, it’s definitely time you gave it a go! In the next section, we have a couple of tips and examples of how you can talk dirty without finding yourself in an embarrassing situation

Dirty Talk—how it works

If you haven’t never tried dirty talk, maybe you’re worried about sounding funny or saying something that might not go down well with your partner. Dirty talk doesn’t mean saying things that do not suit you or your relationship. The opposite in fact: you should always trust your own instincts. Trust your senses and talk about them. How does your partner smell? How do they feel? Maybe your partner tastes like something? How do you feel when the two of you are intimate together? All these things are your sensations, and talking about them can get your partner in the mood. You can also give them positive reinforcement or instructions, ask questions, or emotionally boost them. Doing this will help you to easily include dirty talk in how you talk, whether that’s during sex or in the course of the day.

Here are a few ideas for dirty talk:

• “You taste particularly good today.” (senses)
• “Keep going, I’m about to come.” (sensation)
• “You feel so good.” (positive reinforcement)
• “I’d like you to touch yourself now.” (instruction)
• “Do you like it when I touch you here?” (question)
• “I love you so much.” (emotions)
  
  Be aware of how your partner reacts when you say different things. Is there something particular that seems to excite them? Remember and use it more often. Talking dirty is about gaining experience and using it to become better with time.

What is sexting?

As well as the spoken word, in today’s digital world we also have the chance to communicate sensually via text messages. This is what we call “sexting.”

Sexting is the technical term for dirty talk via text message. As you might have guessed, it’s a combination of the words “sex” and “texting.” It’s where adult messages are sent back and forth to increase desire for time together alone. Dirty talk is not limited to texts—photos and emojis can also be used to boost desire. Naked photos or photos of parts of your body are also allowed. Come up with a special message and awaken your partner’s fantasies.

Sexting is also perfect for anyone in a long-distance relationship who wants to kindle desire for time together alone very soon. If you’ve never tried it—don’t worry! We’ve put together a couple of tips and a few examples here for you.

Sexting—how it works

If you are still struggling to launch straight into dirty talk with your partner, you might find sending suggestive, exciting messages a better alternative—particularly if you want to start things off slowly. You don’t have to write what you think. It’s often enough to start a thought and just end with dot, dot, dot. This can arouse your partner’s fantasies and bring up some vivid mental pictures. A suggestive emoji can work perfectly here, reinforcing a sexy message. Sending photos is also an option. Just think very carefully about who you are sending these sexy messages to, especially if you’re sending photos. Mutual trust is critical! You can start an exciting conversation with a message, simply by sending an innocent “I miss you.” Wait to see how your partner responds. Share memories of previous erotic encounters or tell your partner what you particularly enjoy during sex, and what you absolutely have to do again soon. This is the quickest way to start erotic chats that whet the appetite for more. Just like when talking dirty, with sexting you can also mention your sensations. Or ask your partner questions about what they particularly like. Describe what you’ll be wearing the next time you see each other, or what you’re wearing right now. Positive reinforcement, instructions, or emotionally reassuring comments are all possible with sexting, just like dirty talk.

And we’ve got a few more examples for how you can try out sexting:

• “I miss you. Can’t wait till next time.”
• “What do you want me to do to you tonight?”
• “I’m just remembering how good you smell.”
• “Tonight, let’s pick up where we left off yesterday ”

You can be as creative as you want. You know your partner and what turns them on best. Check out this blog on sexting for a whole range of abbreviations you can use when you sext.

Be careful with dirty talk and sexting: things to bear in mind!

Whether it’s dirty talk or sexting: there are a few things to bear in mind so that you actually manage to turn each other on:

• It is very important for both sides to have fun and let themselves go. If these kinds of messages or words are uncomfortable for one of you, dirty talk and sexting can have the opposite effect and not boost desire at all. Then it’s just awkward.
  
• When sending raunchy messages, always make sure they go to the right person! It’s best to check twice (just to be sure!) before sending a sext.
  
• Be brief. You don’t always need to be explicit. Fantasizing can be far sexier than detailed descriptions. With sexting and dirty talk, it’s all about reading between the lines.
  
• If you send photos, you need to be extra careful. Firstly, you need to trust the recipient, and know that the photos you send are not going to be used for anything else. To play it safe, make sure the photo is anonymous. This means your face is not visible, and there are no details that might identify you—for example a unique tattoo. Your partner will still know that it’s you, and that’s the main thing.
  
• Don’t overdo it! Generally, a couple of words or messages is all it takes to spark desire for each other. Too much of a good thing can quickly kill the mood completely.

If you haven’t yet tried dirty talk or sexting, it’s high time you gave it a go—at least that’s what we think! Put out a few feelers with your partner to see whether they’re up for it, and start sharing your erotic fantasies regularly. You’ll soon find you look forward to each other, and even talking dirty during sex itself can rekindle your desire for each other. Have fun trying it out!

Image sources: pexels-cottonbro-4153168, pexels-cottonbro-6475596