Far More Than Just an Erotic Massage – A Satisfying (Sex) Life with Tantra
8 November 2022
Some words immediately bring vivid pictures to mind. And tantra is definitely one of them. Many people associate it with sensual massages or sex practices that lead to an exhilarating orgasm. However, tantra is far more than that – it’s a way of life and a philosophy that you can apply to every aspect of your life. A spiritual teaching, you use it to call on both mind and body and reconnect them with each other. And naturally that also has consequences for your sex life. 😊 We’ve taken a closer look at tantra and put together a few of the more interesting aspects for you here.
What is tantra?
As we’ve already said, tantra is far more than just orgiastic sex or massages. Tantra or even tantrism refers to different teachings within Indian philosophy and religion. Its beginnings can be traced back to the 2nd century AD. However, the teachings only appeared in their earliest incarnation in the 7th or 8th century. The word itself means “fabric” or “continuum” and refers to the central thought that everything and everyone is connected. In essence, it is about striving to merge our energy with the universal energy that surrounds us.
Essentially, the universe is seen as a synergy of Shiva and Shakti. Shiva is passive consciousness. In opposition to that, Shakti is active energy. If our energy is activated, it can ascend through the opened energy centres in our body, known as chakras, and coalesce with the universal energy in the top chakra, known as the crown chakra.
According to tantric teachings, we are each made up of more than just body, feelings and thoughts. Love and sex also play an important role and should not be denied or suppressed. In practice, meditation, types of yoga, relaxation exercises, breathing techniques and mantras are all part of tantra.
Tantra in everyday life
In tantrism, we distinguish between white, red and black tantra. The first two tantras in particular involve exercises that can have an influence your daily routine and sex life.
White tantra is about cleansing negativity and tensions from your subconscious. This might include subconscious blocks or thought patterns that have become stuck. These can influence our daily thoughts and actions, and in turn lead to unnecessary stress. For white tantra, the focus of exercises is relaxed postures (asanas) and breathing exercises. Pilgrimages are also part of white tantra.
Red tantra is about releasing sexual energies through massages or yoga exercises, for example, and merge it with the energy of your partner. These energy practices aim to increase sexual enjoyment and pleasurable sensations and help with orgasm problems. In tantric yoga, which involves exercises that generally come from red tantra, asanas are generally linked with relaxation exercises, breathing techniques and meditation. The goal of tantric yoga is not necessarily orgasm, but to learn to love your own body.
Do you want a bit more spice in your sex life? Then why not give tantric yoga a go with your partner.
The benefits of tantric yoga for you and your body:
- Increases libido and lust for life
- Releases worries and tensions
- Teaches body acceptance and self-love
- As a result, strengthens self-confidence
Tantric yoga can particularly help if you find it difficult to reach orgasm. And it can also help couples with a dormant sex life rediscover desire for each other.
Yoga exercises from red tantra
First of all: you don’t have to be naked for the exercises if you are not comfortable with that. The aim is actually for you to better feel and perceive both your own and your partner’s body. And wearing underwear is not going to get in the way of that.
Exercise 1
This is about getting closer to yourself and generally accepting the moment and your own feelings. Start by stroking and massaging each other from head to foot. Make sure you include every part of the body. Remember: embrace your growing desire, enjoy being spoiled and feel your own body and your partner’s.
Exercise 2
Kneel opposite each other and move so you are close enough for your knees to touch. Place your hands relaxed on your thighs. Close your eyes and breathe in and out deeply. Move your bodies even closer together until your foreheads are touching. Listen to your partner’s breathing and be completely present in the moment.
Exercise 3
Kneel opposite each other. One of you moves the right leg, and the other the left leg, so they are at 90-degree angles and now your pelvises are touching on one side and the thigh and knee on the other side. Embrace each other and look into each other’s eyes. Continue to calmly breathe in and out.
Try out these exercises somewhere quiet where you find comfortable. Take enough time for the exercises and your partner. It is important to surrender yourself to the moment and admit your own feelings and your intimacy with your partner. Feel yourself, your desire and your lust.
If tantric yoga appealed to you and you aren’t at all bothered by being naked and touching your partner in front of other people, you could also try out tantric meditation. This is often offered as group meditation for couples. You sit opposite your partner and follow the instructions of the teacher. During the meditation, the breast, vulva or penis could be stimulated.
Tantric massage
Let’s be honest – you were looking forward to this section. 😊 But as you’ve already seen, tantra covers so much more: this erotic massage is about celebrating the body and releasing sexual and spiritual tensions. With tantric massage there is a giver and a taker. The taker does not touch the giver, but gives themselves fully up to their own sensations. The sexual organs are a key part of the massage. It’s important to remember that tantric massages have nothing to do with prostitution or erotic services. This means that as the receiver, you can’t decide what happens; you can only say where you don’t want to be touched.
The focus of a tantric massage is the mindful touch of the giver and the freedom of the taker to feel what he/she wants. The massage goes from head to the tips of the toes. Every zone of the body is included. Although both the genitals and the anus can be massaged, orgasm is not compulsory. Pressure to perform and shame have no role in tantric massage.
As well as deep relaxation and new energy through the sexual, sensual experience, a tantric massage can be so much more. It conveys trust and security without having to do anything back in return for your partner – like with cuddling, kissing, or sex. Perhaps it’s something to try out as the nights draw in. Have fun! 😉
Image sources: pexels-joshua-mcknight-1149363, shutterstock_1927458530, pexels-tima-miroshnichenko-6187257